”What’s it like? Having anxiety?”
I’m paranoid. Always afraid of saying or doing something wrong . I am constantly afraid of rejects , I am afraid people will think or say something weird about me without me knowing it, terrified I have hurt anyone at any time , over thinking every situation 100 times before I’m actually in the situation. I am afraid to take chances because things can go differently than I hoped.I am terrified to do things I ‘ve never done or I am terrified to do things that were long since I last did , in case it shall be different. I think long about what I will answer to things. I am terrified that I’m not good enough to support those who I love , I am terrified that I really am crap and boring to be with. I am afraid that I’m annoying. I’m afraid that people are better off without me. I am constantly afraid that all people tell me really is bullshit and that they say it, just so I’ll believe what they say to stop thinking negatively for a while. I am terrified that I am going to loose the people who matter most. I’m afraid I’ll lose my mind because I am always worried about the things that is not a fucking problem. Shit.
In social issues class today our professor held up a black book and was like “this book is red” and we were all “no” and he said “yes it is” and we were just all “that’s not right” and he turned it around and the back cover was red and he said “Don’t tell somebody they’re wrong until you’ve seen things from their point of view”
that speaks to me